Before I couldn't even spell XML, and now I'm trying to use it

I just want to do simple things to my doc's interface (Excel, PP, Word):

Add a new tab when it loads
Put controls on it to run macros
Remove the tab when the doc closes

I've looked as the MS documentation on XML and the Office App controls, and the Custom UI Editor and the Ribbon Customizer

I have figured out how to add my CustomUI.xlm to the file (that was an adventure in itself), but trying to come up with the XML is a lot more than I thought.

I can't find a 'icon' list for controls either

I did think that I could look at MS's XML to see how they put different controls onto the ribbon, but can't find where they hid that either.

Q1 - Is there any 'cook book' of code snippets out there that shows the XML for common tasks?

Q2 - Would this be a canidate for a KB article?

Paul